Taylor Swift is setting the record straight in the April issue of Vanity Fair by allowing a friend of hers, who talks suspiciously like Taylor Swift, to explain the details of her relationship and break-up with Harry Styles. Because Taylor Swift is above that kind of pettiness. Via VF:

Although one of Swift’s rules is that she doesn’t go into the personal details of any of her relationships, she authorized someone to discuss them with Sales (the interviewer). “He wore her down,” the source says of Styles, who allegedly “chased” Swift for a year. “He was all, like, ‘You’re amazing—I want to be with you. I want to do this.’” The relationship fell apart after he texted Swift to alert her of a picture on the Internet of him kissing a friend good-bye. They were “making outlike with their hands all up in each other’s hair,” says the source. After Swift ended the relationship, he pursued her for the better part of a year until she finally took him back. “But the whole time she says she feels like he’s looking at every girl,” the source continues. And then when they were in London together he “disappears one night and after that it was like he just didn’t want to keep going.” Styles’s rep, Benny Tarantini at Columbia Records, said that all of Swift’s source’s claims are “undeniably false.”

It’s funny that these two broke up three months ago and Taylor’s the only one still talking about it. In fact, the above paragraph took up about one-third of the interview. So Taylor had a chance to talk about herself, or her music or anything and instead she has a ‘source’ harp on about how she dumped Harry.

Does anyone actually believe that Harry, who was up to his eyebrows in teen sluts, spent the better part of a year chasing Taylor Swift because she has a certain je ne sais quoi (pussy, I’ll bet you a million buck it’s pussy) that he just couldn’t find in any other girl?

When a 19-year-old disappears at night and doesn’t seem interested in you anymore, that’s his way of dumping you, he just hasn’t developed the communications skills to actually tell you with words, so he shows you by sleeping with other girls.

Just because you told your favorite corduroy rabbit that you pretend is Harry that you’re through and ‘never, ever getting back together,’ doesn’t mean you’re the one who broke up with him.

And is Taylor really so insecure her guy can’t look at other women? That’s what men do. They can’t help it in the same way I can’t help but bring home cats I find in dumpsters… or people’s front yards.

Believe me, I could kick my husband directly in the nuts and it still wouldn’t cause him to break eye contact with a gigantic pair of tits walking by. Let ‘em look, it’s harmless. Just make sure you give him a blow job as soon as you can so he doesn’t forget why he’s with you.