There’s a 50% Chance Princess Kate is Having a Girl

File:Catarina, Duquesa de Cambridge.jpg

If you’re to take the word of a 67-year-old  British women who’s also crazy enough to stand out in the cold to give Kate Middleton a teddy bear, because we all know the one thing the royal family can’t afford and can always use more of is plushed animals, then Kate Middleton is having a baby girl.

According to multiple media outlets, after handing Kate a teddy bear outside the small town of Grisby’s fishing museum, Sandra Cook says she distinctly heard Kate say  “Thank you, I will take that for my d-…” 

Of course, it was cold and there was a lot of yelling and what not going on, and Cook probably didn’t have her hearing aid turned up all the way. So Kate very well could have said “Thanks for nothing you old ratbag, might as well throw this in a dumpster.”

But let’s give this poor old woman a break, after all she hails from a town where the best place to receive royalty is the fishing museum. Cook asked Kate if she was going to say “daughter.” To which Kate replied, “We’re not telling.” 

Nevertheless, this unreliable account from an old bird with nothing to live for didn’t stop the British paragon of journalistic excellence,The Daily Mirror, from proclaiming “It’s a Girl” on its front page. In all likelihood, Kate was probably going to give the bear to her dog, but stopped herself from telling a woman whose life is so empty she stood for hours to meet her and will call it the highlight of her life that. And that’s why Kate Middleton is a princess. The bitch has class.

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