Since I’ll never be able to afford the actual picture, I’ve taken the liberty of using the photo ISIS has been distributing as proof of the birth of the Islamic Antichrist. Close enough.
Behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to proclaim the birth of the holy progeny, the first born son of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West is delivered unto us . A savior born of obscene wealth and priviledge that we might forget the ills and troubles of the world, and our own shitty, disastified existence in order to praise him and increase the bidding price for the first photo.
Update: They named the baby Saint, so my assertions weren’t too far off, though if they had named it Christ I would have won $100.
Remember a few months ago when rumors were going around that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were going to name their baby North West and everyone just assumed it was only a rumor because that couldn’t possibly be true and that’s the stupidest fucking name anyone’s ever heard of? Turns out it was true, they honest to God named the baby North West. There hasn’t been any mention of a middle name, probably because when you give your child a first name that only makes sense when paired with their last name and instantly makes people who hear it think “God, your parents are idiots,” you don’t want to mess up that flow by giving them a normal sounding middle name that might offer them some alternative to having to go by a compass direction for the rest of their lives.