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Beloved Grandmother and Aerosmith Frontman, Steven Tyler

Living on the Edge, of a stroke

 Aerosmith’s latest album “Music From Another Dimension” has opened to paltry numbers on the Billboard top 200.  Which makes sense because from the looks of it, Steven Tyler passed away sometime in 2011.

The album placed #5, being beaten out by other rocker/grandma Rod Stewart’s “Merry Christmas Baby,” and had a dismal 63K in sales. Too bad that ‘other dimension’ wasn’t 1993.

Image:By Aerosmith at it.wikipedia [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)%5D, from Wikimedia Commons

Will Ferrell and Liam Neeson Join ‘Lego’ Movie

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Warner Bros. announces they’ve run out of ideas

Remember those blocks you used to play with as a kid that hurt like hell when you stepped on them? Well you better, because Warner Brothers is making a movie based on them, and they’ve somehow gotten Will Ferrell and Liam Neeson to sign on to a film that’s essentially about bricks.  Lego 3D, an animated film, is scheduled for release in February 2014.  According to the Hollywood Reporter:

 Ferrell will play President Business, a CEO who has a hard time balancing world domination and managing his own life. Neeson is the henchman, simply known as Bad Cop.

Really? So not only are you making a movie based on a building block, you couldn’t even bother to name the characters. ‘President Business’ and ‘Bad Cop’ are descriptions, they sound like the names you use as placeholders before you think of real, clever names.

I’m sure the general attitude at Warners was ‘anyone stupid enough to pay to see Lego 3D isn’t going to care about names.’

Image:By Priwo (photo taken by de:Benutzer:Priwo) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

That’s A Wrap!

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But I didn’t order a pizza…

On Tuesday Los Angeles residents hit the polls in the fight against moral turpitude and took back their fair city from the purveyors of smut that seek to corrupt their drug-dealing children.  Measure B, passed by an overwhelming 56% to 43%, would require adult film producers to get permits from the Los Angeles Department of Public Health and for actors in adult films to wear condoms; Pornographic movie sets would be subject to random inspections.
In related news, the typical boring workday for Department of Public Health employees just got a whole lot more exciting.
Image:By The Naughty American The photograph was taken by Larry Knowles for an article for The Naughty American website. (originally posted to Flickr as Porn Set 5) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Lindsay Might* go to Jail

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*By ‘might’ I mean ‘doubtfully’

 

TMZ is reporting that Lindsay Lohan will be charged with lying to police stemming from her car accident back in June in which she told police she wasn’t driving.  Lindsay’s no-good, back-stabbing assistant at the time ratted her out to police and confirmed it was Lindsay who smashed the rental Porshe into the back of a semi. Doesn’t he know his place as obsequious sycophant?

Now you might expect The Vadge to take the easy route here and call Lindsay all the names she deserves to be called, ie. crackhead etc.  but it’s not really fun to hate on somebody who’s already belly-up in a gutter.  Trash-talking Lindsay now is like barfing in a toilet that somebody already took a dump in.

Image: PD

Now is the Time…

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Donald Trump has likened himself to Martin Luther King Jr.  in a post-election Twitter rant calling for a March on Washington in order to take back this country for the one-percent!  Trump pleads that he not be judged by the color of his skin – orange- but by the content of his character – black.

America’s wealthiest citizens will descend upon the Washington Mall demanding lower taxes, private islands and personal slaves for all.  Their march will continue into the suburbs of D.C. where their wallets and jewelry will promptly be taken by the truly disenfranchised.

Image: By Boss Tweed (Flickr) [CC-BY-2.0](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Jennifer Lopez Wants Your Job, Not Really

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Vete a la Chingada!

 In all her interviews Jennifer Lopez makes it a point to talk about how nice she is to everyone, and what a warm, matronly person she is. That’s why she makes everyone she works around and has sex with sign a confidentiality agreement; so they don’t expose her for the self-absorbed she-bitch that she truly is.

Case in point, Radar Online is reporting that J-ello recently had a maid at a German hotel fired for daring to ask the superstar for her autograph.

Be kind to your fans Jenny, if it weren’t for them and a few fortuitous blowjobs to some execs at FOX the only thing people would be asking you for is some hot sauce to go with their burrito.

Image: By Ana Carolina Kley Vita from São Paulo, Brasil  Uploaded by MyCanon (Jennifer Lopez) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Britney Spears Learned Something

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Hold the Pulitzer!

 The Hollywood Reporter says Britney Spears is the latest in a string of celebrities that include Snooki and Kim Kardashian who are ‘writing’ books despite barely being able to read. But hey, that’s a minor roadblock, right? Way to overcome adversity,ladies!

After Googling the words ‘book’ and ‘write’ Britney quickly realized this was something she could easily afford to pay some poor ‘writer’ to do, then slap her name on it and watch the checks roll in.  Well Played!

Image: By the12thplaya (Britney Spears) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons