Weekend Discharge

Posted on January 20, 2013 by thevadge

Justin Bieber “accidentally” posted the above picture to his Instagram, it was supposed to be a private message to Usher with the caption “Guess what’s for dinner tonight.”

Is this Jennifer Lawrence’s ass? Or is it the ass of a 90-year-old woman? These are the questions that define our times. The Superficial

I don’t know which one’s more desperate; Rod Stewart’s do-nothing son,Sean, looking like someone’s got a finger up his bum, or Adrienne Maloof trying to hang on to her young piece by sticking a finger in his bum. The only actual celebrity mentioned in that last sentence was Rod Stewart. D Listed

George Clooney flat irons his balls. Enough said. IDLYITW

Kristen Bell’s dog knows what’s on the way and is contemplating suicide. IDYDK

Jodie Foster Might Have Switched Sides to Make Babies With Mel Gibson

Posted on January 18, 2013 by thevadge

Even though Jodie Foster has made it clear she won’t identify the father of her sons until they’re 21, that doesn’t stop media outlets and myself from wildly speculating about who the babies’ daddy is. Bigfoot,my guess is Bigfoot. No,Hugo Chavez! The New York Post has some more credible possibilities:

Could Mel Gibson be the biological father of Jodie Foster’s two sons?

That’s what some in Hollywood were wondering as Foster thanked Gibson — “You know, you save me, too” — in her heartfelt speech Sunday, reports The Post’s Los Angeles correspondent, Richard Johnson. Gibson was sitting with Charles, 14, and Kit, 12, at Foster’s table…

“The kids look like him [Gibson] but blonder,” said one amateur genealogist.

If Gibson, a father of eight, donated his sperm to Foster, it would explain her fierce loyalty to the troubled star while the rest of Hollywood shunned him…

The other prime paternity possibility is Randy Stone, the openly gay casting-director friend of Foster who died of heart disease in 2007.

This shouldn’t be too hard to figure out. We’ll know when they grow up to be delusional,racist misogynists or effeminate,art-types with heart problems.

Image:Tom Sorensen [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Tiger Woods Wants Elin Nordegren Back

Posted on January 18, 2013 by thevadge

If you’ve ever felt sorry for Elin Nordegrin, don’t. Everybody gets cheated on, not everybody get’s a $100 million to help heal their broken heart.Most of us get a restraining order and a bill from the courts for $1,000 in damages thank you very much Judge Gwen Trouberg.

Not only is Elin the ultimate in gold-digger divorcés,she’s a six-foot-tall,sun-bronzed,Swedish Ice Queen whose poontang is presumably made out of gold because Tiger Woods is willing to pay $200 million to go back to having marital missionary with her over depraved, Asian porn stars with scat fetishes. From Fox News:

The shamed sportsman, who was exposed for his serial cheating behind Elin’s back in 2009, is desperate to win her back, the magazine claims, offered a $200 million prenup to the stunning Swede.

And she is said to be considering the proposal, but only if he includes a $350 million anti-cheating clause.

I wrote the first part of this post before realizing that the actual source for this story is The Sun, the UK version of the National Enquirer. Which means this is true in the sense that Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegrin are people and that Tiger was shamed at some point in his life and Elin is Swedish. They got that right!

Who would believe that a person would pay $200 million to have sex with someone they’ve already had sex with before. Especially their spouse.

*I realized after posting that you can see Elin’s nipple in the picture, so I made it safe for work, and I apologize if you had an awkward moment with the boss.

Image:Fame/Flynet

Jennifer Lopez’ Doesn’t Really Look Like This

Posted on January 18, 2013 by thevadge

Jennifer Lopez is on the cover of next week’s issue of People proclaiming loudly that she has no regrets about being a supercilious cunt who thinks she’s too good to talk to the ‘help.’

What she does have regrets about is this magazine cover, because according to Page Six J-ello and her people think the cover photo makes her look “old and haggard” and reached out to People about it, but the photo stayed.

I’m going to cut J-ello a break, she might look like the cover model on a box of Depends but she doesn’t exactly looks haggard. At least she was able to force a real smile out of her permanently grimaced mouth. Maybe it’s because she just crapped her pants and nobody knows it but her.

Snoop Dogg/Lion is Fuckin’ GLAMOROUS!

Posted on January 17, 2013 by thevadge

Snoop Dog or Lion or whatever the fuck he’s calling his high ass these days posted this picture on Instagram this week with the caption “French tip for the french enhale,”

I think he meant ‘ènhale,’ but that’s beside the point. Snoop has come up from the mean streets of Compton and he’s fierce, sassy and likes to get his nails did. You go girl!

Eva Longoria Flashed Her Boobs at the Golden Globes

Posted on January 17, 2013 by thevadge

This is why you come to The Vadge, because I bring you the hard-hitting news that matters. NSFW picture here. And while you’re there, check out the bulge on the guy she’s with.

Image:By Hispanic Lifestyle Uploaded by MyCanon (Eva Longoria) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Daily Discharge

Posted on January 17, 2013 by thevadge

If there’s one thing stupid people are really good at it’s accidentally having babies; teen Mom Jenelle Evans is pregnant. Also, she should really clean her bathroom. D Listed

And Jessica Simpson is so stupid, she doesn’t even know how she accidentally got pregnant again. The Superficial

One Direction is even gayer than we all thought, but in a cheeky, ironic way. Lainey Gossip

Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey are still fighting, or they’re not. Call me when it comes to blows. Too Fab

Selena Gomez > Justin Bieber IDLYITW

Paris Hilton will still do anything for a buck, just not in the U.S. Radar

Nicole Kidman is still terrified of Scientology. ICYDK

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