Tag Archives: lindsay lohan vadge

Lindsay Lohan Rejects Dancing With the Stars

Posted on by
1

ImageAnother week, another series of mind-boggling Lindsay Lohan stories. Lindsay posted the above picture to Instagram yesterday then promptly took it down, because Max George in no way wants to acknowledge that he’s sleeping with the drug mule. That would be like sleeping with the girl who cleans the toilets on the tour bus, but worse.

Today, TMZ is reporting that Lindsay turned down a half-million dollar offer to appear on Dancing With the Stars. Considering Lindsay is a few eight-balls away from giving $20 hand-jobs in the alley behind Chateau Marmont, and that she owes thousands in back taxes, and thousands more to her lawyer, and she’s being sued by a former assistant, I find her turning this down a little surprising. Especially since we all know Lindsay makes such good decisions.

According to the report, Lindsay would never consider reality TV and only wants to stick to films. Even though the past five years of Lindsay’s career has been a reality circus of  arrests, court appearances and fights, Lindsay draws the line at getting paid for dancing on a respectable and popular TV show. I mean what could be more embarrassing than accidentally doing an inside turn when you were supposed to do a ball-change?

“That’s right, I got fuckin’ standards ya blow hards,” Lindsay responded, a Parliament dangling from her lips as she scratched her crotch and swigged from a half-empty bottle of Poplov.

Lindsay Lohan Fires Her Attorney; Says She Didn’t Mean to

Posted on by
Reply

512px-Lindsay_Lohan,_2011

Lindsay Lohan has avoided jail more times than Paris Hilton has had a back-alley abortion. A lot . The reason she’s done so well in the courtroom is because of her lawyer, Shawn Holley, a bad-ass L.A. attorney who doesn’t care who she has to blow to get a good plea deal for her clients (not true.)  But in a move that would only make sense to a person who hasn’t slept in 48 hours and is high on speedballs, Lindsay fired the well-respected Holley and replaced her with New York ambulance chaser Mark Heller, who was suspended from practicing law for five years back in 1994.

Even though Lindsay signed the order firing Holley, she’s calling the whole thing a misunderstanding and that she never authorized Heller to fire Holley. Oh, of course, a misunderstanding! Lindsay seems to be misunderstood a lot. Like that time the police thought  she stole that necklace but really she just wanted to borrow it forever without paying for it. Or when the police said Lindsay lied about driving a Porshe into the back of a semi, they didn’t understand why Lindsay said she wasn’t driving, but everybody else on scene said she was. Nobody understands!

And now the letter signed by Lindsay terminating Shawn Holley was really a misunderstanding. Lindsay thought she was signing a birthday card! Unfortunately for Lindsay, Holley was on her way to negotiate a plea deal for her when she got her walking papers, and she’s due in court this morning for Lindsay’s charges on lying to the police.  Will Lindsay avoid jail time yet again? All sources point to ‘yes’.