In Honor of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ

Courtney Stodden is a devout, God-fearing Christian, so she celebrated Easter by donning her most demure, church-appropriate outfit to quietly reflect on the sacrifice Jesus Christ made so that she might be forgiven for her sins and to celebrate his resurrection. No, actually she put on some bunny ears and a fuzzy brand bounced around for everyone on Youtube. What’s Jesus care anyways, he’s dead.

Courtney Stodden lives in an Alternate Reality

God bless America! The only country in the world where a teenager with an eating disorder and a plastic surgery addiction/denial can be exploited by her parents and husband and be transformed into the alpaca-hair wearing, butt-hole-lipped star that is Courtney Stodden. With ‘star’ being used in the loosest possible sense of the word.

In the same vein of all fake-celebrities,Courtney has released the music video to her new single ‘Reality.’ I believe all reality stars are contractually obligated by E! and Satan to drop an album/music video at some point during their 15 minutes. And Courtney is not one to disappoint her Dark Overlord i.e. Doug.

Above is a preview of the video, which is really Courtney sitting on a table poorly lip-syncing to an auto-tuned track of what we’re supposed to believe is her voice, while practicing her chest thrusts. And here’s the link to the full video on E! I will warn you in advance that the cinematography is so visually stunning you  might weep tears of ecstasy. Oh and be sure to note that Courtney’s tits are so enormous now, she actually has cleavage underneath them too. The bar has been raised.

Courtney Stodden’s Busting Out

Aside

Image

One of the people pictured above was born a woman. Can you guess which one?

Since all the real celebrities were at the People’s Choice Awards and the Critic’s Choice Awards this week, Human-Trafficking victim Courtney Stodden and her john, Doug Hutchinson decided to lend their star power to the Markus + Indrani Icon Book Launch party to benefit The Trevor Project. I know, glamorous, right?

Courtney put on her best drag face, dusted off her favorite wig from out of the corner where her dog was sleeping on it, poured herself into the cheapest polyester tube dress she could find, then crammed her feet into  her most comfortable plastic shoes, (check out that pinky toe) because Courtney pulls all the stops when her parental guradian lets her out of the house! Normally her vadge would be hanging out the bottom of this thing, but if you look closely, you’ll see Courtney actually remembered to wear her  support underwear. Surprise!

The shindig was hosted by Carmen Electra, which is a good indicator of where her career is at these days.  Links to more pics here.

Image:Fame/Flynet

Courtney Stodden is Naked, Wants You to Notice

Aside

courtney

America’s favorite human sex-trafficking victim, Courtney Stodden, must have gotten into Doug’s wine coolers and popped a few extra Adderall because she became a little attention-hungry. So she did what every red-blooded, barely legal American girl does, and took some sexy holiday photos and sent them to the good people at Eonline, because those cock-suckers will publish anything, and apparently, so will I. Full link here.

Image: Twitter @courtneystodden

Weekend Discharge

Image

A Hot Meal and a Shower. Al Pacino was spotted attending ‘Glengarry Glen Ross’ in New York City dressed in his best puffy Nike Jacket, silk scarf and orthopedic shoes.  I looked it up and surprising ‘Glengarry Glen Ross’ is a play, not a soup kitchen. (Image: Fame/Flynet)

Courtney Stodden’s mom is adamant her daughter will not do porn. Yeah, my mom said that too. radaronline

Kim Kardahsian‘s visit to Bahrain was met with outrage and civil unrest.  “Her visit could help spread vice among our youth,” said one protestor. I would be a little more concerned about her spreading other things… radaronline

Brad Pitt’s latest movie is analogous to how it feels to actually watch it. Huffingtonpost

Slater from Saved By the Bell got married in Mexico, breaking thousands of teenaged hearts in 1990. People