Daily Discharge

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Candice Swanepoel shows us the white girl ass to end all white girl asses. On that note, I think mine might have actually brushed the back of my knees today. (above)

If you date George Clooney for a year he’ll buy you a house, but if you give Lou Diamond Phillips a hand job in the bathroom of a three-star hotel he might buy you a drink; just saying. D Listed 

Charlize Theron takes her dog and token black kid for a walk, but what I really want to know is what the fat, black woman with the purple hair thinks is so fucking funny about that. ICYDK

Jennifer Love Hewitt is going to freeze her eggs now, because men love that and don’t find it creepy or desperate at all. The Superficial

Justin Bieber did what none of us thought was possible; made us feel sorry for Lindsay Lohan. WWTDD

 

Candice Swanepoel’s Ass is Hungry

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I’m a woman, so I’m terrible with money and have no business sense; I once tried to invest all my money in kittens.  But I’m going to recommend to anyone reading this that they invest in Frankie’s Bikinis, because Candice Swanepoel just posted a picture of her ass gobbling up one of their bikini bottoms, and I think the way this works is that everyone’s going to go buy one now.  That or just stare at this picture until their lower jaw falls off.