Lindsay Vonn attended the Delete Blood Cancer Gala in NYC last night *gasp* ALONE! A woman walking the streets unescorted by her husband or male relative? Stone her!
Lindsey told E! News she was alone because Tiger Woods was ‘practicing’ for the Players Championship next week. Naturally, everyone just assumed they’ve split up, but I like to think there’s a more romantic reason for his absence: He was too busy getting rimmed by a Filipino transsexual.
Conflicting reports suggest that the police may have been called to Amanda Bynes NYC home after she made suicide threats to her/a publicist. It’s nice to see those kinds of things are still taken seriously. These days, when I stick my head in the oven my husband asks if that’s really what we’re having for dinner. I’ll do it this time I swear!
Amanda got into a twitter fight and then quickly made up with Jenny McCarthy after she repeated via Twitter that the police had been called to Amanda’s home. The original tweet came from Jonathan Jaxson, a self-described “Publicist/Manager/Marketing/Consulting/God Fearing/Realtor” who has been helping Amanda with her public image. Are you still following all this? Then you’re stupid.
Jonathan Jaxson told Radar Online:
“Amanda had called me and we had a private conversation, but it was clear to me that she was high on drugs.
Then, she said that she didn’t want to live anymore. I took that as that she wanted to kill herself. I freaked out.”
Jaxson said he immediately called the New York Police Department and tweeted at their handle that the 27-year-old ex-Nickelodeon star was “soooo messed up on drugs”, knowing that officers would then perform a welfare check.
Police have not said if they attended Bynes’ apartment, but Jaxson told RadarOnline.com he later received a call from an officer explaining that Bynes “was fine”.
All this does is prove to me that Twitter really is the playground for our most idiotic members of society, at least it keeps them off the streets. Did this guy really tweet to the NYPD to go help Amanda? Did he do that right after sending out a picture of his Kung Pao Chicken he was about to eat? But what I find most unbelievable about all of this is that Amanda Bynes has a publicist. What has this guy been doing as his client self-implodes on Twitter while wandering the streets of New York talking to the parking meters? She would be better off hiring the person representing Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.
Update 11:30am: Nevermind, instead she’s shopping at Fry’s electronics. I didn’t know they sold blow there.
Update: Lindsay has checked into Morningside Recovery in Newport Beach; Disregard that headline.
Because everyone knows rehab has become sooo commercialized and it’s really all about how you look and who you meet rather than dealing with the problems that have sent your life into a death spiral, here’s a photo Lindsay Lohan posted of herself on Instagram packing for her stint in rehab with the caption “90 days and 270 looks.” Which works out to three outfit changes a day, but who cares as long as you’re there to beat your demons. Except instead checking into the court-approved Seafield Center in New York this morning like she was supposed to, Lindsay hopped a private jet to LA where I presume that now that she’s packed everything she owns she’s off to North Korea to begin a torrid affair with Kim Jong Un. From TMZ:
Lindsay was freaked out because Seafield won’t allow her to smoke. We’re told she may be headed for Morningside Recovery in Newport Beach, CA … which does allow smoking. Problem is prosecutors did NOT sign off on Morningside. What’s more we’ve learned NO ONE from Lindsay’s camp has contacted either the L.A. City Attorney or the Santa Monica City Attorney to get the change of plans approved. In short, by not entering Seafield Lindsay has violated her plea deal.
Lindsay’s lawyers are expected in court this morning to provide proof that Lindsay checked into the Seafield Center. I’m sure once they explain that Lindsay decided not to go to court-ordered treatment because she couldn’t smoke cigarettes, everyone will have a good laugh, then they’ll hand Lindsay the keys to the city, a bag of blow and a new car with an automatic rifle attached to the hood. That Lindsay, she’s just so darn charming!
thevadge.com 