Surprise! Lindsay Didn’t go to Rehab


Update 11:30am: Nevermind, instead she’s shopping at Fry’s electronics. I didn’t know they sold blow there.

Update: Lindsay has checked into Morningside Recovery in  Newport Beach; Disregard that headline.

Because everyone knows rehab has become sooo commercialized and it’s really all about how you look and who you meet rather than dealing with the problems that have sent your life into a death spiral, here’s a photo Lindsay Lohan posted of herself on Instagram packing for her stint in rehab with the caption “90 days and 270 looks.” Which works out to three outfit changes a day, but who cares as long as you’re there to beat your demons. Except instead checking into the court-approved Seafield Center in New York this morning like she was supposed to, Lindsay hopped a private jet to LA where I presume that now that she’s packed everything she owns she’s off  to North Korea to begin a torrid affair with Kim Jong Un. From TMZ:

Lindsay was freaked out because Seafield won’t allow her to smoke.  We’re told she may be headed for Morningside Recovery in Newport Beach, CA … which does allow smoking. Problem is  prosecutors did NOT sign off on Morningside.  What’s more we’ve learned NO ONE from Lindsay’s camp has contacted either the L.A. City Attorney or the Santa Monica City Attorney to get the change of plans approved. In short, by not entering Seafield Lindsay has violated her plea deal. 

Lindsay’s lawyers are expected in court this morning to provide proof that Lindsay checked into the Seafield Center. I’m sure once they explain that Lindsay decided not to go to court-ordered treatment because she couldn’t smoke cigarettes, everyone will have a good laugh, then they’ll hand Lindsay the keys to the city, a bag of blow and a new car with an automatic rifle attached to the hood. That Lindsay, she’s just so darn charming!

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