Because being in a relationship with Miley Cyrus is a lot like being addicted to meth, in that it’s probably not very good for your job prospects or your teeth, Liam Hemsworth’s brothers, Chris and Luke, have staged an intervention in order to get the white squirrel that is Miley Cyrus off his back once and for all.
Liam Hemsworth’s actor siblings, Chris and Luke, were so fired up about the relationship between their little brother and fiancee Miley Cyrus, they staged an intervention with him in April.
“They want him to end the romance for good,” a source tells Us Weekly. And apparently their words have made an impact. The couple of nearly four years — who got engaged last June — recently stopped making wedding plans and have been spending plenty of time apart.
What Liam doesn’t know is that when he gave Miley that ring and asked her to marry him that’s what people from the South refer to as a ‘Law Bindin’ Contract’ enforceable by the NRA.
“Ain’t no fancy, funny talkin’ British boy gonna mess with my horse-suit wearin’, pot-smokin’ daughter’s honor,” said Billy Ray as he reloaded his sawed-off shotgun.
Page Six is reporting that Miley Cyrus has split with her finance, Australian actor Liam Hemsworth. The riff between the two became obvious when Miley was spotted without her engagement ring after Liam allegedly cheated on her with January Jones and then jetted off to Australia solo.
People from the South and people from Australia are known for being level-headed and sober, so these two were a good match. I’m sure their household was a carnival ride of flying blunt objects and swearing in unintelligible accents. Miley’s already twenty years old, if she was in her native environment she would already have at least three kids by now. So some words of wisdom to the next guys she dates: those are Smarties, not birth control.
But, don’t worry about ol’ Miley. There’s plenty of guys out there who would love to have sex with her then leave before she wakes up and starts chattering their ear off like Sandy Cheeks from Spongebob Squarepants. Plus, she’s hard at work on her new album and is being managed by the same man who brought about Britney Spears comeback after she went crazy following her break up with Justin Timberlake, so they’ll be no shaving-off-all-her hair-and-filling-the-emptiness-in-her-life-with-a-menagerie-of-small-dogs happening around here!
Image:Fame/Flynet; Wikipedia Commons/Fair Use