Cory Monteith is Dead, Lindsay Lohan Isn’t

File:Cory Monteith in 2011.jpg

31-year-old Glee star Cory Monteith was found dead in his Vancouver hotel room on Saturday. Back in March I wrote about how Glee star Cory had quietly and voluntarily entered rehab for drug abuse despite not giving us the laying-on-the-floor-of-a-Brazilian-nightclub-spectacle-of-a-train-wreck that we’ve come to expect prior to rehab from other celebrities, and by that I mean Lindsay Lohan.

And while Lindsay went to court-ordered rehab biting and gouging while saying she doesn’t have a problem, Cory quietly completed his rehab and returned to normal life. I don’t want to speculate on what caused his death because everyone is just assuming it’s drugs, which isn’t fair because he seemed very serious about facing his problems and overcoming them.

If it was drugs, I have to  wonder if Lindsay Lohan has become so saturated with vodka and Botox that’s she’s actually become embalmed and will be able to live forever like some coke-addled mummy. That’s the only explanation I can think of that would explain why this guy is dead and she’s still walking around scoring interviews with Oprah.

Image:By Dondfan998 (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (, via Wikimedia Commons

Cory Monteith Thinks He Needs Rehab

I didn’t have any idea who Cory Montieth was until this morning when I read he voluntarily checked into rehab. When I found out he’s one of the stars of Glee, it made sense, because I hate musicals, let alone ones that features 30-year-olds pretending to be high school students.

If this guy’s checking into rehab already, what happened to the waking-up-next-to-a-dead-teen-hooker-in-a-Mexican-hotel-room or passing-out-in-a-Del-Taco-bathroom-in-a-puddle-of-your-own-vomit that’s supposed to precede it? I’m feeling a little cheated here!

According to people , the 30-year-old Montieth also entered rehab back when he was 19. In 2011, he told the magazine, “I don’t want kids to think it’s okay to drop out of school and get high, and they’ll be famous actors, too.”

He added, “It might not be okay, but it is possible. Remember kids, sometimes, dreams really do come true!”