Cory Monteith is Dead, Lindsay Lohan Isn’t

File:Cory Monteith in 2011.jpg

31-year-old Glee star Cory Monteith was found dead in his Vancouver hotel room on Saturday. Back in March I wrote about how Glee star Cory had quietly and voluntarily entered rehab for drug abuse despite not giving us the laying-on-the-floor-of-a-Brazilian-nightclub-spectacle-of-a-train-wreck that we’ve come to expect prior to rehab from other celebrities, and by that I mean Lindsay Lohan.

And while Lindsay went to court-ordered rehab biting and gouging while saying she doesn’t have a problem, Cory quietly completed his rehab and returned to normal life. I don’t want to speculate on what caused his death because everyone is just assuming it’s drugs, which isn’t fair because he seemed very serious about facing his problems and overcoming them.

If it was drugs, I have to  wonder if Lindsay Lohan has become so saturated with vodka and Botox that’s she’s actually become embalmed and will be able to live forever like some coke-addled mummy. That’s the only explanation I can think of that would explain why this guy is dead and she’s still walking around scoring interviews with Oprah.

Image:By Dondfan998 (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

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