The Weekly “Lindsay Lohan is on the Fast Train to Living in a Dumpster” Report

I’ve been trying to keep the Lindsay Lohan posts to a weekly update, because the truth is, this lil’ leprechaun is so busy stealing gold and eating children, it’s hard to keep up!

Let’s start with the above picture of Lindsay sitting on the floor under a table in a Brazilian nightclub. Lindsay’s in Brazil, getting paid to promote a clothing line, but it’s unsure if it’s their clothes she’s smearing with spilled drinks and vomit, my guess is probably. Lindsay is under the table because she didn’t want to be photographed and if you’re trying not to be seen, the best thing to do is go to a crowded nightclub and crouch under a flat surface that’s open all sides. She’s a modern-day Houdini!

Before jet-setting off to Brazil, Lindsay did a guest appearance on Charlie Sheen’s Anger Management, burning another bridge with the one person high enough to still hire her by stealing from the show’s wardrobe. From TMZ:

Lindsay acknowledges, she walked off with 2 bracelets, a necklace, sunglasses, a pair of shoes, gold earrings, a silk bathrobe, lingerie and tap shorts.  She claims the wardrobe person was well aware she had the goods and claims the wardrobe lady specifically said it was A-OK and the cost would be deducted from her salary. Lindsay’s also telling friends, she’s NOT going to return the stuff, because as far as she’s concerned she paid for it.

That sounds fair enough, but this is Lindsay we’re talking about, so of course that’s not what really happened.

Sources from the show tell TMZ … Lindsay walked off with the bracelets, the necklace, earrings and shoes BEFORE there was any discussion about leaving with the stuff.  We’re told the wardrobe person told producers she was not going to become a cop and block Lindsay from leaving the set with her stuff, so she told her the value of “all missing items” would be deducted from her paycheck… Multiple sources on the set tell TMZ Lindsay was “the biggest prima donna ever on ‘Anger Management.'”   We’re told she showed up 2 hours late the second day, refused to come out of her trailer for 2 hours, left early to go clubbing and threatened not to return. Sources say the crew broke out in applause when she left, calling her a “nightmare.”

At this point I’m beginning to think Lindsay may be the greatest actress on Earth, and this is a  big social experiment meant to be a scathing indictment of our obsession with celebrity and our values as society as a whole, as we all stand aside and watch a once promising young person self-implode before our eyes, and then I realize, no, she’s really that stupid.

2 thoughts on “The Weekly “Lindsay Lohan is on the Fast Train to Living in a Dumpster” Report

  1. Pingback: Dear God. | The Vadge

  2. Pingback: Cory Monteith is Dead, Lindsay Lohan Isn’t | The Vadge

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