For I am Thy Lord and Savior, Chris Brown


After his parking lot brawl with Frank Ocean, Chris Brown was feeling a little persecuted by the media. Did I say ‘a little’? I meant ‘Jesus-style persecuted’ because yesterday he posted this picture to Instagram with the caption “The way I feel today.Focus on what matters!”

If you’re not familiar with the New Testament, Brown is referring to Mark 16:22 “When the Lord and his niggas roll up on a parking space, show respect and yield that parking space to the Lord for he is our deliverance, yea if the Lord is shown disrespect, he will smite you with his fist.”

You don’t remember that verse? It’s right after the one where Jesus punches Mary Magdalene in the face for trying to look at his cell phone.

Chris Brown Had a Misunderstanding With Frank Ocean and Worked it Out Like an Adult


brown ocean

Chris Brown was involved in a round of fistifuffs with Frank Ocean last night outside a recording studio in LA…over a parking space. What I’m getting is that Chris Brown punched a gay guy in the face because he parked in his spot. Sounds about right. From Page Six:

Chris Brown is at it again.

The hotheaded musician is under investigation for assault after brawling with R&B singer Frank Ocean outside of a Los Angeles recording studio Sunday night, officials said.

Witnesses told investigating deputies that the fight was over a parking space – and that Brown threw the first punch.

Those statements conflict with initial reports of the fight, with other witnesses telling TMZ that someone attacked Chris as he tried to shake Ocean’s hand.

Ocean, who cut his finger in the fight, took to Twitter following the melee: “got jumped by chris and a couple guys. lol. i only wish everest was there,” he wrote. Everest is the name of the singer’s Bernese mountain dog.

I just don’t get this, Chris Brown seems like such a nice, mild-mannered young man. Why are people’s faces always getting in the way of his fist?

Image: Cinemantique [CC-BY-2.0 (, via Wikimedia Commons &

By Eva Rinaldi (Chris Brown) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (, via Wikimedia Commons