For I am Thy Lord and Savior, Chris Brown


After his parking lot brawl with Frank Ocean, Chris Brown was feeling a little persecuted by the media. Did I say ‘a little’? I meant ‘Jesus-style persecuted’ because yesterday he posted this picture to Instagram with the caption “The way I feel today.Focus on what matters!”

If you’re not familiar with the New Testament, Brown is referring to Mark 16:22 “When the Lord and his niggas roll up on a parking space, show respect and yield that parking space to the Lord for he is our deliverance, yea if the Lord is shown disrespect, he will smite you with his fist.”

You don’t remember that verse? It’s right after the one where Jesus punches Mary Magdalene in the face for trying to look at his cell phone.