Charlie Sheen is Rejected by the Loch Ness Monster

File:Charlie Sheen 2012.jpg

Last week Charlie Sheen and two friends flew his private jet to Scotland for a 24-hour spur of the moment expedition to find the Loch Ness Monster, because if Charlie can magically make a hooker and an ounce of coke disappear in an hour, surely, he can make a non-existent creature of folk-lore that’s only been seen once reappear.

“Present yourself to me elusive creature of the murky deep so that I might put my wiener in one of your magical holes.”

From TMZ:

Charlie Sheen fueled up his private jet for a 24-hour mission to accomplish what no one else has been able to for the last 80 years … find the Loch Ness Monster.

Charlie flew to Scotland last week — and sources close to the Warlock tell us it was literally a last minute call … like most of his decisions.
We’re told Sheen brought along his two pals — ex-baseball star Todd Zeile and longtime stand-in Brian Pekk … we’re told Charlie and co. rented a boat and headed out to search for Nessie — armed only with a bottle of scotch.

While I have no doubts that Charlie got drunk on a boat with two other men, kind of like an adult version of “Three Men in a Tub” that ends in a circle jerk, this is obviously a cover-story for their real mission: Picking up a black-market shipment of tiger penis from China. A man’s gotta get his fix.

Image:By Joella Marano (Charlie Sheen) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (, via Wikimedia Commons

Charlie Sheen and Georgia Jones; A Love Story


The endless line of porn stars and hookers willing to lip wrestle with Charlie Sheen never ceases to amaze me. Is there a national shortage of Valtrex and bitches are trying to get a residual dose? Why else would a woman with low self-esteem and daddy issues hook-up with a man so bacteria-ridden even Lindsay Lohan thought she was too good for him?

I don’t have answers to these questions, I was just trying to tell you that Charlie Sheen has found a new blown-out hole to put his crusty, flaccid peen in.  Her name is Georgia Jones (pictured above) star of adult film classics such as Teen Alien Sex Dreams and Babes in Body Wraps. And if she hasn’t already proved there’s nothing she won’t do to make a buck and shame her parents, she’s sure to do it now after being photographed making out with Charlie Sheen on New Year’s.  Say ‘hi,’ mom and dad!

Image:By J Chang from USA (AEE2009_Jan11_Nikon 770  Uploaded by gohe007) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (, via Wikimedia Commons