Lindsay Lohan gained a small crumb of respectability when TMZ reported that the blackened, cigarette indent on her cadaver-plumped lip refused to touch the blackened, crack-pipe indent on Charlie Sheen’s papery, dry, bloodless lips during the filming of their cameo on Scary Movie 5.

According to TMZ Lindsay was supposed to kiss Charlie three times during their “Scary Movie” bedroom scene, but she ultimately refused to do it, and they both had to sign a release saying they didn’t have cold sores. (hahahahahahahahahaha!)

The source says they’re not sure what the cause of Lindsay’s paranoia is (bath salts, perhaps?) but it might have to do with Charlie’s sordid past. And even though Lindsay has locked lips with Samantha Ronson’s butthole, she somehow draws the line at Charlie Sheen’s mouth. Charlie Sheen is a professional though, because he wasn’t even bothered by Lindsay’s rejection of his maw. Besides, when it comes to the camera, Lindsay likes to get all hoighty-toighty and act like there’s things she won’t do for a bump of coke. I’ll wager that he still managed to wrangle a rim job out of her back in his trailer because he sent her that $100,000.

Image: By Toglenn Uploaded by MyCanon [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)