Tag Archives: Anne Hathaway

Dear Anne Hathaway, Please Stop Talking Now

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Anne Hathaway is continuing her Reign of Terror on the talk show circuit, hitting up Jay Leno and attempting to present herself as down-to-Earth and charming while talking about winning a BAFTA (the British version of the Oscars,) but coming off as a pretentious cunt instead.

She starts by telling Jay about her dilemma getting the prestigious award home, because she was worried it might disappear from her luggage, before she realized that no lowly TSA agent could ever win a BAFTA, so it would be easy to find.

Anne then does her best to identify with the lower classes, talking about how she got the flu (a commoners ailment BTW), and how she was booed and hissed by her fans. The best part is when Anne tells Jay she got booed and the audience doesn’t respond and she goes “but, no it’s okay. I got to meet George Clooney.” As though she thought everyone felt sorry for her. This bitch garners about as much sympathy as Marie Antoinette.

She then goes on to talk about how horrible it was having the zipper on her designer gown break, but it all worked out because she had another designer gown on hand and she looked just as amazing in that one too! Oh Anne, you live a serendipitous life, don’t you?

“I look like a turkey that has been sewn together. Just not good,” she tells Jay. “How irritating am I? Most women don’t even have one great dress, I have two.”

The answer, Anne, is very. Very, very irritating. More irritating than an ingrown hair on top of a yeast infection covered with a thong made out of a brillo pad.

I can’t embed the video, so here’s the link here.

Image:By Jenn Deering Davis  Uploaded by MyCanon (Anne Hathaway) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Anne Hathaway’s Vagina May Hurt Her Career

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I was always under the impression that the best way for a woman to get to the top in any industry was to flash some vadge.  But Anne Hathaway is some kind of Puritanical prude, because she’s afraid the pink taco exposé she did at the New York premiere of Le Mis has hurt her chances of bringing home a golden dildo shaped like a little man next year. If this turns out to be true I might have to rethink my entire career strategy. (Note to self: No vadge flashing until this is resolved.)

From Hollywoodlife:

“Anne is really hoping for an Oscar for Les Misérables, and she’s worried that this misstep will hurt her credibility as an actress.”

The source points out one reason Anne is so distraught over her commando catastrophe is because she is afraid it has cast a shadow over a project that is very special to her.

For starters, Anne is pretty lucky her vagina drew attention away from that outfit. As far as credibility goes, she just got all the credibility she needed; she proved she’s not a dude, which I was somewhat dubious about until now.

Image: Fashion photographer Anthony Citrano at http://www.zigzaglens.com/ derivative work: Bff (Anne_Hathaway_2008.jpg) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons