Adam Levine has always struck me as a guy trying waayyy to hard to be cool, and in his new interview with Refinery29 he not only proved that, but also that he’s a parsimonious bitch when he told them that he takes his first dates to McDonald’s because he thinks it’s “quirky and romantic.”

Let’s set this straight. It would be quirky and romantic if you were poor, and that was all you could afford. You’re a fucking millionaire, at least cough up the cash for a Rooty Tooty Fresh & Fruity at fucking Denny’s. What you’re actually being is cheap and clichéd. Adam tells the magazine:

“It’s a good, spontaneous, romantic thing you can do that’s also cost-effective. What if you don’t like the person? It’s only the first date. It’s the first time you’re hanging out — do something quirky and romantic. You don’t want to show it all off on the first date, you know? Dress fancy, but go to McDonalds. Her world will be so rocked. You might be able to take her to the opera afterwards. If you don’t like her, you can just take her home.” 

Okay, saying that a girl’s world will be so rocked that “you might be able to take her to the opera afterwards,” may be the gayest thing I’ve ever heard a musician say, including the time Freddie Mercury said “I’m a gay as a daffodil.”

Is going to McDonald’s with Adam Levine so fucking awesome that choking down some cold, over-salted fries and a dry, crusty hamburger really going to rock your world? Is $6.99 really the limit that he’s willing to spend on the off-chance that he might get laid? This guy either thinks way too much of himself or way too much of McDonald’s. Granted, I’ll blow ya on the first date for a pitcher of Newcastle and a cheeseburger at a roadside dive bar, ask my husband. (BTW, ladies, that’s how you get a man to propose.) But McDonald’s? Because you don’t want to spend too much money finding out if a girl likes you for your shitty personality rather than your money? Fuck you Adam, I’d rather go to the Grammy’s with Chris Brown.

Channing Tatum is Sexy, Sucks


People Magazine making inroads on simian equality

 The people at People Magazine have shone once again how out of touch they are with actual people by naming half-man/half-ape Channing Tatum as this year’s Sexiest Man.

This guy has the blank look of a UFC fighter whose been kicked in the head too many times. Plus, his first name is a last name and his last name is a first name which really pisses me off for some reason. I’d bang Heath Ledger’s corpse over this bone-head.

Also on People’s list: Patrick Duffy (seriously,) Charlie Day(talks like a girl,) and Adam Levine(the pose says it all.) Which means, miraculously, Lance Bass wasn’t the gayest person on the list. I’m tired of Hollywood trying to push a bunch of candy-assed metros and tell me they’re hot. This list is proof that in Hollywood, if you give enough blow-jobs you’ll make it to the top.
Image:By Tony Shek (Channing Tatum) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (, via Wikimedia Commons