Lady Gaga Has No Sense of Humor*


* There’s a lot of other words that could have been thrown in there: talent, vagina, humility, dignity, personal attractiveness, etc.

If you like to keep up with trite celebrity feuds that consists of a lot of open letters and posturing with none of the stuff we actually want to see  (bikini-clad fights to the death in a pool of Jello) then you might have heard that Lady Gaga has a problem with Kelly Osbourne and her hard-hitting, insightful, Peabody nominated work  on Fashion Police.  In an open letter posted to her website,  Gaga opens with this self-righteous tirade:

Everyday, through my music and public voice I choose to be positive and work towards a kinder and braver world with our community of followers. I encourage them to ignore criticism, stand up to bullies, know their own value and see that we are all the same and no one person is worth more than another. I know I’m perceived as a wild child, but in reality I am woman that deeply cares for humanity. I have empathy for you Kelly, but I feel it culturally important to note that you have chosen a less compassionate path.

“Chosen a less compassionate path?” Move over Jesus, and get a stylist,  because the lost and downtrodden have a  new savior, and this bitch wears designer labels; your sandals and seamless robe ain’t gonna cut it anymore.

Aside from that, does anything having to do with Kelly Osbourne “culturally important”?  If I took a dump that looked like Kate Middleton it would have more cultural importance than Kelly Osbourne, it might even get its own reality show.

Gaga goes on to say Kelly and Fashion Police Breeds negativity and hate, and that it’s not funny. No arguments on that last one. Of course,  Crazy ass Sharon Osbourne wasn’t going to let anyone criticize her pudgy, ugly daughter and fired back in another open letter on Facebook calling Gaga a hypocrite:

“By your actions to Kelly right now, you have shown me that you are nothing more than a publicly seeking hypocrite,” Sharon wrote.

“You know it would have been much more dignified of you to do this privately. I am calling you a bully because you have 32 million followers hanging on your every word and you are criticizing Kelly in your open letter,” she said.

I don’t want to defend the Osbournes, they’re a couple of cackling, cockneye hags and Kelly looks like she has a serious case of  macrognathia, but does Lady Gaga  really think Fashion Police and Kelly are so mean spirited and negative that it deserves to be called out? They’re talking about clothes for fuck’s sake, and the insults are  pretty tame. Has Lady Gaga even been on the internet lately? Because everyone on here has been calling her a dude for the last two years.

Image:By JJ Duncan (Flickr: Sharon Osbourne and Kelly Osbourne) [CC-BY-2.0 (, via Wikimedia Commons