A pregnant Halle Berry secretly got married in France over the week to boyfriend Olivier Martinez, the man who beat the living crap out of her daughter Nahla’s father on their front lawn last Thanksgiving. I’m sure because he’s French, Olivier thought “Thanksgiving” meant black eyes and broken teeth on the driveway. It’s practically a tradition in some households. This will be Halle’s third marriage so she’s knows by now what works and what doesn’t, like pairing a hot-tempered, violent foreigner with an accusatory, self-centered celebrity. They were practically made for each other.

Image:By Jenn Deering Davis  Uploaded by MyCanon (Halle Berry) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons