You’re Not Fooling Me, Jennifer Aniston


The internet went apeshit today  over how great Jennifer Aniston supposedly looks without makeup after her stylist, Chris McMillan posted this picture of her on Instagram with the caption “Best #friends #no makeup #girl-time,” 

Even if she isn’t wearing makeup, I fail to see why anyone is impressed that 44-year-old woman with access to every beauty treatment money can buy somehow managed to pull off 42 with the virtue of a filter and good lighting. I guarantee you that if I were as rich as Jennifer Aniston, I wouldn’t look anything like Jennifer Aniston.


Jennifer Aniston Was Forced to Eat the Food of the Commoner’s Once


Above: Jennifer Aniston looking as natural as a man receiving a blow job from a baby harp seal.

In a recent interview with New York Magazine, Jennifer Aniston recounted the most horrible, gut-wrenching experience of her life: When Brad dumped her for Angelina The time she ate at McDonalds. And Jen’s body reacted to the greasy food of the masses like any digestive system that subsists solely on the evaporated tears of starving children would react: Poorly, and with a lot of diarrhea I’m guessing.

 I’ll never forget when Justin and I were on a road trip and we were so hungry. The only thing around was McDonald’s. I think I ordered a Big Mac. Wow, my body did not react well to that! It was like putting gasoline in a purified system. I am always trying to eat organic and natural foods, so that just made my stomach turn and made me feel terrible.

Go back in exile to your self-sustaining, Adirondack retreat Gwyneth, there’s a new out-of-touch, supercilious bitch in town! Forget that I can eat an entire meal at Mc Donald’s for less than $4, while organic, free-range, grass-fed beef will set me back $19.99 a pound at Whole Foods. Forget that many Americans can’t afford to buy fresh produce, let alone organic, yet over-processed, high-fructose corn syrup filled food is subsidized by the government. Did this bitch really just call her self a ‘purified system’? Because I’m pretty sure  44-year-old body being kept youthful by the good graces of plastic surgery, botox and millions of dollar’s worth of fetal stem cells and God knows what else is a far cry from being ‘purified’ no matter how much organic, flax dust she inhales for lunch.

Image:gdcgraphics via Wikipedia Commons

The Daily Discharge


Sean Penn is a whiny little bitch. Dlisted

“It’s my constitutional right to fuck this donkey”’ said this guy. HuffingtonPost 

Liam Hemsworth beat up some random guy, reminding Miley why she fell in love with him  in the first place. TMZ

Just when you thought Jennifer Aniston couldn’t be any more stiff and plastic looking. TheSuperficial 

Image:Rhughes2270 at en.wikipedia