Brad Pitt’s Talking About How Horrible Life With Jennifer Aniston Was Again

In a new interview with Esquire magazine, Brad Pitt describes how before he met Angelina Jolie he was sitting on a couch in his underwear smoking a joint and wasting his life in vapid, meaningless conversations about bronzer and highlights with an unnamed, orange specter with a ubiquitous haircut.

Via Page Six:

“I spent years [bleep]ing off,” Pitt admitted. “But then I got burnt out and felt that I was wasting my opportunity.” Then, “about a decade ago,” when he was still married to Aniston, he says he made a “conscious change” in his life. “It was an epiphany — a decision not to squander my opportunities,” he explained. “It was a feeling of, ‘Get up.’ Because otherwise, what’s the point?”

Brad admits he’s much happier now that he has six children and twelve nannies to care for them, because he enjoys the “chaos,” and  cheap foreign labor. Pitt expressed joy about finding happiness with his partner Angelina, who, honest-to-god, actually gave birth to three of those kids. “Have you seen her tits lately?” Brad gushed, “They look great!”