Dear God.

As if Lindsay Lohan needed to give everyone a reason to talk about her, she tweeted early this morning that she’s pregnant.

Of course, everyone’s assuming this is an April Fool’s Joke because we all just assumed her uterus is a caustic, uninhabitable wasteland. If she even still has one. It might have slipped out on to the floor and escaped one night while she was sitting under a table in a club with her legs open. Those little critters will do that if you don’t treat them right!

But Lindsay sent the tweet one hour after April 1st, so maybe she’s telling the truth. For someone who can’t even remember to not steal things for 10 hours, I imagine it’s pretty difficult to stay up on birth control. Plus, you have to be conscious when you’re having sex with strangers to tell them to pull out. I know, it’s hard.

If my estimations are correct this baby will be one-sixth Lindsay, and one-sixth of every member of The Wanted.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s