Taylor Swift and Harry Styles Are No More

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That headline almost made it sound like they’re both dead; unfortunately that’s not the case, but the New York Daily News is reporting that the ‘couple in high school who everybody thought would be together forever’ have broken up after  two months, which is the most successful dating streak Taylor Swift has ever had.

This is good new for Harry, he’s 18, famous, and has so much poontang being thrown at him he’s practically drowning in it, despite looking like this.  Seriously? Is this what all those little girls are going ape shit about? He has the soft, pasty upper body of a priest’s personal choir boy, and I’m pretty sure that’s a third nipple there, and possibly a fourth! And why do his tattoos look like he let a 7th-grader go at him with a Sharpie? Doesn’t this kid have money?

I can’t believe I’m going on record saying this, but Taylor Swift could actually do way better than this guy. She may be an irksome baby with a sourpuss face, but at least she’s in shape, kind of.

Image:By Flickr: Eva Rinaldi Celebrity and Live Music Photographer’s photostream (Flickr: Styles) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0) or CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

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