Kim Kardashian is Pregnant, May God Help Us All

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I’m still not 100% convinced this isn’t a publicity stunt, but Kanye West implied on stage last night at his concert in Atlantic that Kim Kardashian is pregnant by saying “Can we make some noise for my baby mama, right quick?”

And then the cackling banshees that are Kim’s sisters both confirmed the news on Twitter, (of course.)

From Khloe:  “Keeping secrets is hard with so many family members! Especially when you are so freakin excited”

and from Kourtney: “Been wanting to shout from the rooftops with joy and now I can.”

I guess it makes sense, Kim was probably contractually obligated by E! and Satan to have a baby within six years. Regardless of your beliefs, you should start praying immediately, because if it’s true, this baby is is going to be like the kid from The Omen. A child spawned by fame whores, nurtured in a womb of Botox, and nursed at the teat of reality television. When this thing emerges from Kim’s yawning, cavernous vadge it will be  holding a bottle of amniotic fluid and calling it its first fragrance release. And it will only get worse from there.  Kim will probably auction off her placenta and the baby’s cord blood, then she’ll sell the first screaming, bloody pictures of that devil spawn to People for a couple million.

Image:By Eva Rinaldi  Uploaded by MyCanon (Kim Kardashian) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

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One thought on “Kim Kardashian is Pregnant, May God Help Us All

  1. Oh please just stop ! She’s pregnant be happy for her I bet they love eachother. He’s excited for the baby and so is she. You guys just can’t accept the fact that they’re having a baby together .. Well believe it because its true honey it’s true!

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