Real Housewife and former model Brandi Glanville’s husband, Eddie Cibrian, left her to be with LeAnn Rimes, who looks like Gollum with a blonde wig. So I’m not sure she’s qualified to give advice on anything, except maybe how to be so insufferable that sex with LeAnn Rimes somehow seems palatable.

But that didn’t stop old Brandi from dishing it out anyways, via Twitter:

“2 drink max on 1st dates,NEVER wear cute chonies esp. If he is super HOT,dont talk about ex’s&be who u r not who u think he wants u2b ;),”

Thanks Brandi, if you had taken the time to actually spell out the words you might have enough for a book. And if you ever take Brandi out on a date, just remember that she’s wearing granny panties.

Image: Twitter_@brandiglanville