Above: The media shit-storm surrounding the royal fetus has caused it to to grow power disproportionate to its size.

In what can only be a precedent of the blood-shed that is to come, Prince William and Kate Middleton’s unborn fetus has already claimed the life of its first victim.

The Daily Mail is reporting that the receptionist at King Edward VII hospital who put the now infamous prank phone-call through to Middleton’s room has been found dead, in what police are calling an apparent suicide.

So not only has this evil spawn put its own mother in the hospital, it’s now taking outside victims too. Don’t you people get it? It feeds on the power of the media, you’re only making it stronger! I don’t want to sound like a Doomsday profit, but by the time this baby is born it will have grown powerful enough to take over the world; creating a new order of power with England dominating as our Imperialistic overlords.

*All joking aside, this truly is a tragedy, and an indictment on us all that a hard-working, innocent mother lost her life because of our overwhelming obsession with royalty and wealth.

By Stephen Michalowicz [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons