Douche of the Week


This award was initially going to go to Gwyneth Paltrow for giving this cunty interview to InStyle magazine . But then I found this guy, and remembered that Gwyneth Paltrow is always a douche, and she’ll most certainly be up for consideration in the future, whereas this guy is gonna crash and burn and be relegated to obscurity before 2013.

Who is ‘this guy’? He’s Nick Gruber, the 22-year-old  man-whore who’s about to release a tell-all book about his time spent as Calvin Klein’s boy-toy. Some highlights from Gruber’s interview with Page Six:

“I don’t know why, but there’s, like, something about me that attracts everyone. I have a nickname called Romeo. I get every girl, and even guys. Something about me draws them all in.”

It’s like, blowjobs.

“Paradoxically, even though Gruber had an ‘exclusive’ relationship with Klein for two-and-a-half years, he insists he is straight. There’s no doubt that sex is his currency.

While Gruber won’t elaborate on how he met Klein, stating, ‘I’m leaving it for the book,’ he says they were introduced by friends when he was 20 and in the army. At the time, the military still enforced its ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy, and he wanted out, so he says he claimed to be gay…

As proof, he says he handed over a bisexual porn video he filmed while in high school in Santa Rosa, Calif.”

Who didn’t make a bisexual porn in high school? It’s like, a rite of passage. Eventually Gruber’s relationship with Klein turned sour; Klein took back the quarter-million dollar Bentley he gave Gruber, Gruber went to rehab, and then moved to L.A. where dreams really do come true, read on!

“He was at a court-mandated A.A. meeting there in June when he met another older, richer man with a famous last name: 48-year-old John Luciano, the grand- nephew of notorious mobster Lucky Luciano…That said, Gruber’s got a new BMW motorcycle, paid for by his generous new boyfriend. And this time, unlike the Bentley, the title’s in his name.”

So he went from a $250,000 Bentley to a BMW Motorcycle? Those things cost less than my Corolla. At this rate he’ll be doing donkey shows in Tijuana for an ‘87 Buick Regal before January.


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