Kris Humphries’ Lawyer Calls it Quits

File:Kris Humphries.jpg

Above: Kris Humphries attempts to understand the laws of motion while playing with a basketball.

The lawyer representing Kris Humphries in his divorce from Kim Kardashian has quit, saying him and his client didn’t see eye to eye on the case. Kris is demanding an annulment claiming the marriage was a publicity stunt and based in fraud, because apparently, Kris had never seen an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians prior to marrying Kim.

According to TMZ, Marshall Waller made it clear to his client There are no legal grounds for annulling his marriage to Kim, because there’s absolutely no evidence of fraud.

Our sources say Waller and Kris reached an impasse … because Kris’ out-of-state attorney, Lee Hutton won’t budge from the whole annulment thing.  So, Waller filed legal docs Thursday asking the judge to remove him from the case.

According to the State of California, “The fraud must have been about something vital to the relationship that directly affected why the party who was deceived agreed to the marriage or domestic partnership. Some examples are marrying only to get a green card or hiding the inability to have children.” Or in Kim’s case, maybe her vadge leaks sulfuric acid or she’s half centaur and sterile, kind of like a mule. They should really look into that last one.

I would say the real grounds for annulment based in California law is that Kris was of “unsound mind” when Kris Jenner convinced him to marry Kim, took him to a jeweler and picked out a ring for him to buy, arranged for him to propose in front of the film crew, then filmed the whole wedding for an E! television special

Any person that highly suggestible cannot possibly be in a sound state of mind. Even Britney Spears returning home from her weekly shock therapy session isn’t going to let Papa Spears order her a Big Mac at the McDonald’s drive-through when what she really wants is a 40-piece McNugget.

Kris just has to prove he’s the world’s biggest dimwit, which shouldn’t be hard considering he has the mental prowess of an ashtray. He just needs to stand in front of the judge and say, “I thought she loved me.” The judge will laugh so hard, he’ll grant Kris anything he wants.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s