If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like being married to Mariah Carey imagine a spoiled, insufferable 8-year-old who believes she’s really a princess but she’s really a 42-year-old woman who celebrates every holiday according to that description. So pretty much like being married to a fluffy, pink noose.

Mariah tweeted the above picture of herself and her dog in the bathtub getting ready for Valentine’s Day, and the picture below of her and husband, Nick Cannon, preparing for a Valentine’s date night. Mariah is really into clichéd romantic gestures like candles and balloons, and surgically removing the testicles of the men in her life.