Kim K. Wants to be Beyonce’s Friend

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Beyonce and Jay-Z are very private people, so it’s been speculated that even though they’re good friends with Kanye West, they don’t care too much for Kim Kardashian, because she would  televise her colonoscopy if she thought it would bring good ratings.

So you know Kim’s doing her best to not come off as the walking endorsment deal that she is and kiss Beyonce’s ass at the same time. Back in June, Kim gave Beyonce’s baby, Blue Ivy, a $5,000 diamond bracelet engraved “Love, Auntie Kim,” to which Beyonce said, “Throw it in the pile with the others.” And yesterday Kim tweeted this during the Superbowl half-time show:

“I heard there was this little football game at the Beyonce concert today…. Is that true? #BeyonceBowl,” and “OMG Beyonce killed it!!! And when Destiny’s Child came out…that made my life! #Bootylicious.

Kim was probably choking down black bile as she wrote that and sent it out into the Twitterverse, especially the “bootylicious” part. I bet Kris was standing over her shoulder hissing, “Do it, do it, they have good connections.”

If Kim manages to crawl her way any further up Beyonce’s ass she’s going to turn into a polyp. And I believe that’s two references to colon health in one post.

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