Taylor Swift May Have Already Found Her Next Boyfriend


Will prefer jail after first date

A 24-year-old man was arrested for trespassing at Taylor Swift’s Nashville home early Friday morning after taking a bus from Wisconsin to be with the singer

According to TMZ, Jacob Kulke was arrested at 1:45 AM after allegedly hopping a fence at the property. Kulke was detained by security and when police arrived, he told them he was Swift’s boyfriend.

According to reports, Kulke told police he had been in contact with someone at the home via social media and he came to town to celebrate Swift’s birthday (which was Thursday).

First of all, how are we to know this guy isn’t Swift’s boyfriend? Second, if he’s not currently her boyfriend, I’m willing to wager that he might be in the near future. Third, quit being such an uppity cunt Taylor.  This guy took a bus. From Wisconsin. Just to be with you on your stupid birthday, and you had him arrested.  I just wrote the first three lines of your next hit song. Fourth, the great thing about stalkers is they’ll likely never leave you, although with Taylor that’s still kind of iffy.

Image:By Marcin Wichary from San Francisco, U.S.A.  Uploaded by MyCanon (Taylor Swift) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

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