The beginning of 2016 felt a lot like 2011, in that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth appeared to be back together after ringing in the new year and getting caught being affectionate at some Australian music festival that I imagine involved a didgeridoo. Except then I looked around and saw I was still 40 lbs. heavier and unemployed, with two kids and that my life was essentially over. Yeah, it’s 2016.
But enough bout me and the demise of my hopes and dreams, let us focus on the young and exhibitionistic. Since Miley spent 2015 parading her vagina around with Wayne Coyne in some kind of over-the-top Thai ping-pong show, let’s hope this rumor is true. It’s time someone wrestled Miley to the ground and stuffed that thing into some pants, and since Liam is Australian I’m sure he’s up for the task, it’ll be just like ‘gator hunting, but with more teeth.