UPDATE: He’s Dead. Kristin Cavallari’s Brother Vanishes Without a Trace. Go Bears!

Kristin Cavallari 'Protective' of Missing Brother Michael Cavallari

Update: Michael Cavallari’s body was discovered three miles from his vehicle and his believed to have died from exposure. Considering it’s a real crap shoot as to whether members of my own family will survive the holiday season, think fireworks accident or suicide by Christmas lights, I won’t comment further on this. Now the the real question is will Jay Cutler be able to overcome the Redskin’s defense and seal a victory in week 14? Because something tells me he’s gonna play.

Kristin Cavallari’s older brother Michael, has now been missing for well over a week, under circumstances that would suggest he’s either seriously injured or dead, but that didn’t stop her husband, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, from playing in yesterday’s game against the San Francisco 49’s, because Football!!!!! Fuck yeah!!!!

Michal Cavallari’s car was found on a dirt road off Highway 70 in Utah, with his laptop and cell phone still inside. Kristin has kept silent on the issue until today when she tweeted:

Which uh, I guess is something. Kind of selfish in a way, making it about you rather than asking people to look out for him or come forth with any information, but I guess people on Twitter aren’t likely to be taking their head’s out their asses and being aware of their physical environment anytime soon anyway.

In her defense, she did just give birth two weeks ago, so you know, tweeting is pretty hard. I guess? All that thumbwork.

It was also revealed today that  her brother was arrested November 23rd in Orange County after stalking a woman for several weeks and knocking at her door while carrying a shot gun. What hasn’t been revealed is who bailed him out? Where did he get the gun? What was he doing in Utah? Why couldn’t Jay Cutler throw a touch-down pass in overtime against the ‘Niners? Why is Kristin Cavallari even relevant anymore? Who cares about her? Who ate my turkey pesto sandwich that was in the fridge? Is Jon Snow going to come back in season six or what? Why do I pee a little in my pants when I run? Why doesn’t anybody listen to me? I’m lonely.

Image: Michael Cavallari, Grand County, Utah, Sheriff’s Office

 

 

 

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