Some of you, as in none of you, might have noticed that I haven’t posted in the last three weeks. That’s partially due to a lack of an internet provider because I live in a rural area (thanks for nothing AT&T, cocksuckers,) and partially because ignoring a small child while sitting around doing nothing is a lot harder than you would think.

But don’t worry, in that time it would appear the only really important thing I missed was Miley Cyrus demonstrating on national television why NAMBLA is an affront to God. You’re a sick man Robin Thicke! Also, Khloe Kardashian’s husband, basketball player Lamar Odom, has turned to the warm, smoky embrace of a crack pipe because yes, doing drugs with strangers in a seedy motel is preferable to life with a Kardashian. Perhaps Kanye West will come to the same conclusion but with car exhaust.

Oh, and something about Syria, but I’ve never even heard of her before, so I don’t think she’s that famous.