It’s Come to This, Nick Lachey to Release Children’s Album

This publicity photo provided by Fisher-Price shows multi-platinum recording artist and new father, Nick Lachey's album cover for "A Father's Lullaby." Lachey's first-ever lullaby album inspired by his son, Camden, releases in March in partnership with Fisher-Price, Inc., a subsidiary of Mattel, and Mood Entertainment. Lachey and wife, Vanessa, welcomed their son in Sept. 2012. (AP Photo/Fisher-Price, Austin Hargrave)

Because Jessica Simpson’s fashion line is worth a billion dollars and Vanessa Minnillo spent all her Wipeout money on spray tan, Nick Lachey has taken to the public domain and recorded some lullabies so that his new son, Camry, which they named hoping to get an endorsement deal from Toyota, might be able to enjoy the smooth ride and subdued luxury of an actual Toyota Camry one day.

The album “A Father’s Lullaby,” features 12 songs including “You are My Sunshine,” and Brahm’s Lullaby, which, I would like to point out, doesn’t have any fucking words. So he just threw that shit in there to fill up space.

If you would like to hear Nick singing while choking back sobs because the figurative and literative cash cow, Jessica Simpson, left him with nothing and now he’s hawking children’s songs, you can purchase the album on i-tunes beginning March 13.

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