There are a few jobs in the world that I could never, ever be convinced to take, even for a kitten that shit diamonds and coughed up gold coins. Those jobs include Jessica Simpson’s on-call chef, Kim Jong-Un’s accountant or California State Senator of the 35th District, because fuck the 35th!
Also on that list is personal assistant to Lady Gaga. Because despite all of Gaga’s high-minded talk about making a ‘kinder, braver world,’ when it comes down to it she’s really just a mean-spirited harpy, as evidenced by her recent deposition involving a lawsuit against the singer by her former personal assistant for unpaid overtime wages. From the New York Post:
Lady Gaga unloaded on a former personal assistant who’s suing her for overtime pay — blasting the woman in a sworn deposition as a “f–king hood rat who is suing me for money that she didn’t earn.”
“She’s just — she thinks she’s just like the queen of the universe,” Gaga ranted, court records obtained by The Post show.
“And, you know what, she didn’t want to be a slave to one, because in my work and what I do, I’m the queen of the universe every day…”
The “Born This Way” singer couldn’t maintain her poker face, either, shooting a nasty aside at ex-aide Jennifer O’Neill near the start of Gaga’s marathon, six-hour testimony in a Midtown Manhattan law office.
“Are you going to stare at me like a witch this whole time — honestly?” Gaga asked.
“Because this is going to be a long f–k ng day that you brought me here…
During her videotaped Aug. 6 deposition, Gaga said none of her employees get paid overtime, adding that O’Neill “knew exactly what she was getting into, and she knew there was no overtime, and I never paid her overtime the first time I hired her, so why would she be paid overtime the second time?”
“This whole case is bulls–t, and you know it,” she added.
But under questioning, she conceded her decision not to pay overtime wasn’t based on labor laws, but is “actually based on a bubbly, good heart.”
“I’m quite wonderful to everybody that works for me, and I am completely aghast to what a disgusting human being that you have become to sue me like this,” she said.
“Because she slept in Egyptian cotton sheets every night, in five-star hotels, on private planes, eating caviar, partying with [photographer] Terry Richardson all night, wearing my clothes, asking YSL [Yves Saint Laurent] to send her free shoes without my permission, using my YSL discount without my permission.”
Gaga said O’Neill’s job, which paid $75,000 a year, “was essentially a favor, and Jennifer was majorly unqualified for it.”
“I expect there to be a certain level of, like, you know, knowledge and academia about, like, your job,” she said.”
$75,000 a year to be responsible for tucking and taping that queen’s dick between her legs and listen to that! It wouldn’t even come close to paying for the years of counseling you would need to ever become sexually aroused again. I’d rather be Phil Spector’s personal assistant.
Image:By TJ Sengel (Lady GAGA, GMA Concert, Lady GAGA GMA Concert) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons