Above: A depraved androgyne born of children’s nightmares and a 19th century Krampus Christmas card.

A Krampus is a demon-like creature of Alpine folklore who appears at Christmas to steal away naughty children and eat them. John Mayer is a chode who sings whiny, contrived songs in a high-pitched voice and has a suspiciously effeminate manner.

You can recognize a Krampus by its hairy body, brown or black coloring, goat-like horns and cloven hooves. You can recognize John Mayer by his pouty bitch-face, hairless body, bleached butt hole and ability to attract desperate actresses/singers on the rebound.

I ask you. Which one will be haunting your dreams tonight?

Image: Twitter_@katyperry & PD