Kat Von D got engaged this weekend to DJ Deadmau5 who proposed via Twitter using the above picture. Notice the semantics: “Soon, I hope.”
I dated a quite a few losers before I got married (yes, I’m taken. Sorry to ruin Christmas,) so I feel qualified to interpret this. When a man who wears a mouse hat tweets you a picture of a ring that he says he’s bought for you and that it will be ready ‘soon, he hopes,’ it means he looked at rings on the internet in between jerk-off sessions on pornhub.com and he found one he thinks you might like at Hot Topic. He thought about buying it, but he didn’t, he did remember to save the picture to send to you, so in case he forgets to give you a real Christmas gift he can propose online and not have to actually buy anything.
This is the kind of half-assed idea you come up with after drinking a 40oz. and smoking a couple bowls. At least you were in his thoughts Kat, but it may take a while for you to see that ring.
That’s okay though, because Kat will have time to finish the laser tattoo removal of Jesse James ugly childhood portrait that she has under her armpit (pictured above.) It’s probably good she’s doing that now. Not only is it pretty awkward to stare at the face of a little boy while you’re trying to have sex with your gutter-slut fiancé, it’s even weirder if you remember that the boy in the portrait’s man juices are still marinating in the cavernous hole you’re currently trying to blow your load in.
Image: Twitter, Instagram