Lindsay Lohan; Private Eye


Lindsday Lohan’s not the kind of person to take punching another person in the face lying down, no way!  You think you can just let Lindsay punch you in the face and get away with it? I don’t think so psychic-gypsy lady.  Lindsay’s hired a private investigator to look into her accuser, Tiffany Mitchell’s past, and she’s convinced there’s a connection between Mitchell and her estranged father Michael Lohan because (gasp!) they both live in Florida!

Lindsay also thinks this woman purposely got in the way of her fist so that she could shake Lindsay down for cash, even though she’s  broke and the IRS just seized her bank accounts.

I would say the person coming out on top of this will be the detective she hired, because his boss is a paranoid, delusional drug addict and he can bring her ‘clues’ like cigarette butts and gum wrappers, and Lindsay will get really excited about how they’re on to something say ‘great work,’ and write him a check for $25,000, which will bounce, and then she’ll have to pay him in blow-jobs.

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