Kim Kardashian is Poisoning Her Baby, Looks Great!

Because everyone knows a child gestating in the warm womb of narcissism and self-importance is impervious to things like, you know, toxic chemicals, Kim Kardiashian is still getting Botox injections despite being seven months pregnant. “Eh, who cares if my kids retarded, I won’t be taking care of it. Besides, having a forehead that moves is totally gross.” From In Touch:

Insiders tell In Touch that Kim is putting her baby’s health on the line in the name of beauty. “She’s still getting injections even though she’s seven months pregnant,”says an insider. Kim’s obsession with beauty hasn’t only driven her to get chemicals injected into her face — she’s also been having gel manicures and spray tans, all procedures that could have consequences for her unborn baby with boyfriend Kanye West. “She’s so worried about what she looks like — that’s why she’s still getting Botox,” says a family insider. “She’ll go to any lengths to protect the one thing that’s most precious to her: her beauty.”

Kim and I are the same age, and the wax figure of Kim at Madame Tussaud’s looks more natural than she does. I on the other hand, have a forehead that looks like a sheet of college ruled paper. Combined with my majestic hump from sitting over a computer 16 hours a day, I like to think that I’m ushering in a new standard of beauty for faceless blogger everywhere.

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