Remember That Punk Who Stole Your Wallet in 1988? It Was Mark Wahlberg

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Mark Wahlberg wants you to know, he may wear tuxedos and Gucci loafers now, but in the past, he was regular street thug who used to rob people, and smoke weed. Hey, so did my mom!

Mark has to explain to the director and costars of his new film Pain & Gain, that he’s not just pretending to be a criminal, he really is one. That’s why he knows when you kidnap and rob a person, you have to talk in a silly accent or they might recognize who you are, because only a criminal mastermind could come up with such a brilliant idea. Via HuffPo:

“They don’t have that criminal mentality like me,” Wahlberg said in an interview with MTV News. “I know how to do s–t. I’ve robbed people in the past, so you can’t be just like, ‘Hey, dude, what’s up? It’s me, Mark. Listen, give me your s–t!’ “

“You gotta be like ‘Hey, I’m Marky Mark of the Funky Bunch, do you think you could spare a few bucks for gas money? I’ll give you an autograph.’”

If that doesn’t work he can always tell them his brother is Donnie from New Kids on the Block and him, Jordan Knight and Joey McIntyre are gonna come kick some ass.

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