Kate Beckinsale went shopping with her assistant on Melrose Avenue in West Hollywood yesterday. I normally don’t like to make fun of non-famous people, so let’s just say the job requirements to be Kate Beckinsale’s assistant are you must walk three feet behind her at all times, and do everything in your power to make Kate look slim and attractive in contrast to yourself. Oh, and no eye contact. I don’t know who you are lady, but you’re being used! Used!

In summation, if Kate Beckinsale ever asks you to go shopping with her, kick that bitch in the vadge and run like hell.

Image:Fame/Flynet