Dear people who are “outraged” over the Beyonce lip-synching scandal, don’t ever attend a Britney Spears’ concert. D Listed

Just to be clear, I would have sex with any member of the Royal Family, even Fergie, but I would prefer Harry. Lainey Gossip

Great news for formerly overweight, purple-haired women with large jaws! Just Jared

Lindsay Lohan likes to think that if you did drugs and had occasional sex with a person who died tragically, you’ll be remembered fondly by their surviving family. ICYDK

Teen Mom 2’s Jenelle Evans continues to present a compelling argument for the eugenics movement. The Superficial