Awards shows are to celebrities like that cornfield in Field of Dreams is to dead baseball players; if you lay out a red carpet, line up some photographers and hand out silver-plated ass plugs those fuckers will come. Because celebrities will take any reason to dress up, parade around and assure themselves of their own importance.
The People’s Choice Awards lets ‘the people’ choose their favorite celebrities, films, musicians and songs, and their ‘choices’ are just as fucking stupid as you would expect from the people who vote for the People’s Choice Awards.
Even though I didn’t vote, you can bet your ass I’m gonna complain. Jennifer Aniston won Favorite Comedic Movie Actress? The only thing more insulting than that would be if you named Adam Sandler Best Comedic Movie Actor. Fuck, really? How can he win after being nominated for a Razzie for the very same role on the very same day? Is voting exclusive to tweens with ADD?
I don’t watch Glee because I hate anything that even closely resembles a musical, so I don’t know anything about Chris Colfer, but I’m pissed that he beat out Jim Parsons for Favorite TV Comedic Actor, because I secretly have a crush on Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and yeah, I know he’s gay.
Granted, there were some good picks, like Jennifer Lawrence and Robert Downey Jr., and Ellen Pompeo supposedly flashed her vadge, but I watched this video 30 tines and didn’t see a thing. As far as The Vadge is concerned the winner of the People’s Choice is Olivia Munn, for this diss on Taylor Swift.
Full list of winners here.
Dammit you are funny.