Mario Lopez ruined Christmas for everyone on Twitter. (above)

You shall not metastasize! Ian McKellan has prostate cancer. People

Anne Hathaway channels Aeon Flux in crotchless panties and a dominatrix knee-brace. Dlisted

Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly hate musical theatre anymore, the Spice Girls premiere Viva Forever. JustJared

Charlie Sheen’s still waiting for that blow-job, Lindsay. PageSix