Taylor Swift has pretty much dated every pair of numb-nuts in Hollywood, from Joe Jones to Zac Efron.  And they all seem to dump her in a few months, likely because she’s even more clingy and annoying in real life than in her interviews.

So as of late she’s moved to less-famous men and has been dating Conor Kennedy, whose still in high school.  Then they broke up, but now the Huffington Postsays they’re still secretly seeing each other, and the Kennedy family is terrified the couple might elope. Probably because they don’t want to eat her stale pumpkin cookies at their family reunions for the next 20 years.

I can’t help but think there’s a reason a wildly-successful, 22-year-old would be interested in a high school senior… Wait a minute…her latest album is ‘Red,’ she’s dating a Kennedy…OH MY GOD! Taylor Swift IS GOING TO RUN FOR The REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL NOMINATION IN 2016! Nooooooooooo!!!!! We cannot let this happen.*

*The Vadge does not endorse or advocate any form of violence against a celebrity, but if you wanna do it without my endorsement, that’s fine.

Image: By Keith HInkle (Taylor Swift, being interviewed) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons