Suri Cruise Makes More Money Than You



I’ve expressed numerous times on this site my disdain for children, especially celebrity children. How can a woman with children of her own profess to dislike kids as much as I do? That’s the same question I’m sure they’ll be asking a psychiatrist in about 18 years. The long answer will likely cost thousands of dollars in therapy and medication, so to save my future children a lot of money I present the short, cheap answer via The Sun. Also, you made my tits sag:

The daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes has just inked — or maybe crayoned — a £1.5million deal and her label has been imaginatively named Suri.

The fashion-conscious schoolgirl, who regularly tops lists of most stylish celebrity child, will launch her first collection for young girls this autumn in a New York department store.

If successful, the Suri brand will be rolled out in shops across North America next year.

A source said: “Suri is only seven but she is incredibly interested in clothes.

Yes, you read that right. A seven year old child, with no notable talent, and who by most accounts can’t even walk on her own just made one million-four-hundred-ninety-nine-thousand eight-hundred-sixty-seven dollars and 24 cents more than I’ll make this year because she was birthed out of a well-connected vagina. There really is no God.


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